The last couple of months have been pretty stressful at our house with Sky's schedule, a 3 year old who has decided to exercise her own independence, and a little man who just turns and smiles when he knows he is trouble and runs off.
There have been nights when I have gone to bed crying, laughing, alone, and wishing sleep would last a week however I find myself wishing Thomas or Macie would wake up so that I could hold them one more time.
Being a wife and mother has been completely different than I thought it would be, in fact it is alot better than I could have ever imagined, however no one tells you how hard it is. If they did I certainly didn't understand what they meant, I mean really what can be hard about playing with your kids all day and doing whatever we want to.
I always thought to myself if it is hard I can handle it, I know how to work hard, I worked all growing up , I served a mission, went to beauty school, and received my bachelors degree while working all at the same time. I thought I had a pretty good resume for hard worker. Well that kind of resume hasn't prepared me for this. I was never taught how to handle a 15 minute tantrum, a child who is completely afraid of public toilets so we revert back in potty training every time we need to leave the house for longer than 4 hours (yes she can hold it that long). An active little boy who so adamantly needs something and I can't understand what it is.
All of the things I have done in my life have had a certain degree of hard and I keep thinking is this like that time in my life, or the other time. When in reality this is a whole new world. I am once again a greenie and it is never easy to be the greenie the times of inadequacy, lack of self confidence, and uncomfortable feelings set in. However this is the greatest job and calling on the earth is to be a mother.
As I was getting ready to leave to Canada on a 18 month mission for the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints my brother pulled me aside and said "don't get comfortable. When you get comfortable that is when you get lazy, complacent, and careless." These words have helped my in the last ten years in so many catagories. Life isn't supposed to be easy we need to feel uncomfortable at times and feel like we aren't able to accomplish some things, why else would we turn to our Heavenly Father. Mother hood is the greatest calling and our children are on loan to us from the greatest father, and example we have.
I realized I have been taught how to handle a tantrum or a crying little boy, and all of those trials that come with raising little children, I was taught by father in heaven who loves me enough to send me to a home where I was taught Love, Being a mother isn't hard because my children are hard or that my life is any more difficalt than anyone elses it is because I am IMPERFECT.
Focasing on the little moments and loving my children is all it takes. So on those days when I go to bed crying, laughing, alone, and wishing sleep would last a week. I am thinking to myself How come I am so luck to be the wife of Sky who loves, and cares for me no matter what I do, or don't do for that fact, or Macie who every 30 minutes is telling me " I like you Mommy, and every night at dinner she so excitedly says, "this is Yummy Mom, thanks for making me dinner mom" and a little boy who is full of smiles and laughter who melts my heart ." So yes Being a mother is hard but only 15% of the time and when I focus on the other 85% I find a prefect world that our Heavenly father intended in family's.
I know the Gospel is true and I am so grateful to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of-latter-day saints, where I am learning the true calling of motherhood!!!!
